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This harsh week made me realise that I'm not yet as matured as I'm expected to be, specially in context of the worldly knowledge. Many a times I cater to those decisions; sometimes of mine and even many a times endorse the others' which actually deepens the pit for me. Last week I got indulged in many such situations where hardly some one expects me to be. Every night before going to bed I had been thinking “oh shit ! I lost one more day”. Why? ? ? What I actually mean by ‘losing the day’? If I would have catered to the usual routine of 8am to 2am , would I have called it a perfect day ? yes ....... no........... don’t know ! Actually I ‘ve to choose between these two schedules.
The first one starts with morning 8 alarm , lab classes till 11 ,manipulating data there ,so as to get the required value without actually doing it , there after one more lecture with the director upto 12 (no proxy, so a must attend) , lunch in the Visveraya hall (illegal , but it is the nearest to the department), back to the department at 1.15 and upto 4.15 ... a triplet of one hour lectures (some bunks can be managed , as making proxy in these classes isn’t a big deal), hangover iced tea at NESCAFE just after the classes at 4.30 , back to the ALLOTED Homi bhabha hall , signing in the g-talk at around 6.30, there after tennis court call for an hour upto 9.., dinner at 9.30, and finally 28 in room B-109 late upto 2 am. That is all the making of a ‘farzi engineer’. NO ASSIGNMENTS ! NO PROJECTS ! NO PROF RENDEZVOUS EVEN !
The second one starts the same way , same lab classes , same lectures , equally refreshing NESCAFE stuff , but it varies with the earlier one at the point here after. No tennis , No signing in the g-talk , No 28 , no assignments , no projects , no prof rendezvous even. Instead I’ve made some friends hanging out with whom makes me feel having a killer instinct. I feel like I’m losing my own potentials. It equalises our stamina and in the process I’ve to lower mine and raise theirs. I should have worked for my own cause , instead I’m interested in theirs. And it’s not coz some one has planned it for me or is in my nature. Rather I can neglect them , but alas! I can’t say no to my friends. They get benefit out of my humility. They may even overlook me ,once their interests are done. And I know this harsh reality as well.
I rove with these friends when I’m supposed to read the last few pages of ‘VERONICA DECIDES TO DIE’. I chat with them at the back post when I actually should be at the tennis court. I meet these friends’ friend when I must install ALLPROPS, for my cryogenics assignment . I go for the dinner in the group with these friends ,which I could have managed at a time of my own convenience. They are definitely not intended to hurt my sentiments, but it indirectly gives me that deadly instinct of which they aren’t aware. I even sometimes postpone my idea of writing for the blog , Probably they don’t know how I’m touched to these stuffs. Anyway Its obvious . And here comes the difference between a ‘friend’ and an ‘acquaintance’. Had they been my friends they should have known the traits I love, the choices those differentiates me ,the passion that raises me above many ,the desires those I possess irrespective of the probability of fulfilling, the very random aspirations those I’ve already expressed somewhere earlier in this blog.
Why?? Why do I ? ? Why I’m expressing all these seemingly delicate thoughts over here. It isn’t the post break-up consequence ! Neither is it the frustrated output of their continuous stymies. But one thing for sure, I didn’t come up with some lively article once again. And I got its permanent remedy as well, I have initiated the chain of weekly blog entries. A week time in a ‘farzi engineering student’s life is more than enough to express. I suppose ! !
The first one starts with morning 8 alarm , lab classes till 11 ,manipulating data there ,so as to get the required value without actually doing it , there after one more lecture with the director upto 12 (no proxy, so a must attend) , lunch in the Visveraya hall (illegal , but it is the nearest to the department), back to the department at 1.15 and upto 4.15 ... a triplet of one hour lectures (some bunks can be managed , as making proxy in these classes isn’t a big deal), hangover iced tea at NESCAFE just after the classes at 4.30 , back to the ALLOTED Homi bhabha hall , signing in the g-talk at around 6.30, there after tennis court call for an hour upto 9.., dinner at 9.30, and finally 28 in room B-109 late upto 2 am. That is all the making of a ‘farzi engineer’. NO ASSIGNMENTS ! NO PROJECTS ! NO PROF RENDEZVOUS EVEN !
The second one starts the same way , same lab classes , same lectures , equally refreshing NESCAFE stuff , but it varies with the earlier one at the point here after. No tennis , No signing in the g-talk , No 28 , no assignments , no projects , no prof rendezvous even. Instead I’ve made some friends hanging out with whom makes me feel having a killer instinct. I feel like I’m losing my own potentials. It equalises our stamina and in the process I’ve to lower mine and raise theirs. I should have worked for my own cause , instead I’m interested in theirs. And it’s not coz some one has planned it for me or is in my nature. Rather I can neglect them , but alas! I can’t say no to my friends. They get benefit out of my humility. They may even overlook me ,once their interests are done. And I know this harsh reality as well.
I rove with these friends when I’m supposed to read the last few pages of ‘VERONICA DECIDES TO DIE’. I chat with them at the back post when I actually should be at the tennis court. I meet these friends’ friend when I must install ALLPROPS, for my cryogenics assignment . I go for the dinner in the group with these friends ,which I could have managed at a time of my own convenience. They are definitely not intended to hurt my sentiments, but it indirectly gives me that deadly instinct of which they aren’t aware. I even sometimes postpone my idea of writing for the blog , Probably they don’t know how I’m touched to these stuffs. Anyway Its obvious . And here comes the difference between a ‘friend’ and an ‘acquaintance’. Had they been my friends they should have known the traits I love, the choices those differentiates me ,the passion that raises me above many ,the desires those I possess irrespective of the probability of fulfilling, the very random aspirations those I’ve already expressed somewhere earlier in this blog.
Why?? Why do I ? ? Why I’m expressing all these seemingly delicate thoughts over here. It isn’t the post break-up consequence ! Neither is it the frustrated output of their continuous stymies. But one thing for sure, I didn’t come up with some lively article once again. And I got its permanent remedy as well, I have initiated the chain of weekly blog entries. A week time in a ‘farzi engineering student’s life is more than enough to express. I suppose ! !
