Saturday, August 8, 2009

Week - 01

This harsh week made me realise that I'm not yet as matured as I'm expected to be, specially in context of the worldly knowledge. Many a times I cater to those decisions; sometimes of mine and even many a times endorse the others' which actually deepens the pit for me. Last week I got indulged in many such situations where hardly some one expects me to be. Every night before going to bed I had been thinking “oh shit ! I lost one more day”. Why? ? ? What I actually mean by ‘losing the day’? If I would have catered to the usual routine of 8am to 2am , would I have called it a perfect day ? yes ....... no........... don’t know ! Actually I ‘ve to choose between these two schedules.

The first one starts with morning 8 alarm , lab classes till 11 ,manipulating data there ,so as to get the required value without actually doing it , there after one more lecture with the director upto 12 (no proxy, so a must attend) , lunch in the Visveraya hall (illegal , but it is the nearest to the department), back to the department at 1.15 and upto 4.15 ... a triplet of one hour lectures (some bunks can be managed , as making proxy in these classes isn’t a big deal), hangover iced tea at NESCAFE just after the classes at 4.30 , back to the ALLOTED Homi bhabha hall , signing in the g-talk at around 6.30, there after tennis court call for an hour upto 9.., dinner at 9.30, and finally 28 in room B-109 late upto 2 am. That is all the making of a ‘farzi engineer’. NO ASSIGNMENTS ! NO PROJECTS ! NO PROF RENDEZVOUS EVEN !

The second one starts the same way , same lab classes , same lectures , equally refreshing NESCAFE stuff , but it varies with the earlier one at the point here after. No tennis , No signing in the g-talk , No 28 , no assignments , no projects , no prof rendezvous even. Instead I’ve made some friends hanging out with whom makes me feel having a killer instinct. I feel like I’m losing my own potentials. It equalises our stamina and in the process I’ve to lower mine and raise theirs. I should have worked for my own cause , instead I’m interested in theirs. And it’s not coz some one has planned it for me or is in my nature. Rather I can neglect them , but alas! I can’t say no to my friends. They get benefit out of my humility. They may even overlook me ,once their interests are done. And I know this harsh reality as well.

I rove with these friends when I’m supposed to read the last few pages of ‘VERONICA DECIDES TO DIE’. I chat with them at the back post when I actually should be at the tennis court. I meet these friends’ friend when I must install ALLPROPS, for my cryogenics assignment . I go for the dinner in the group with these friends ,which I could have managed at a time of my own convenience. They are definitely not intended to hurt my sentiments, but it indirectly gives me that deadly instinct of which they aren’t aware. I even sometimes postpone my idea of writing for the blog , Probably they don’t know how I’m touched to these stuffs. Anyway Its obvious . And here comes the difference between a ‘friend’ and an ‘acquaintance’. Had they been my friends they should have known the traits I love, the choices those differentiates me ,the passion that raises me above many ,the desires those I possess irrespective of the probability of fulfilling, the very random aspirations those I’ve already expressed somewhere earlier in this blog.

Why?? Why do I ? ? Why I’m expressing all these seemingly delicate thoughts over here. It isn’t the post break-up consequence ! Neither is it the frustrated output of their continuous stymies. But one thing for sure, I didn’t come up with some lively article once again. And I got its permanent remedy as well, I have initiated the chain of weekly blog entries. A week time in a ‘farzi engineering student’s life is more than enough to express. I suppose ! !


Azad said...

Tell me how was "veronica decides to die"!!

Ashesh Raghav said...

will tell u next weekend. But in general i don't love coelho's books. He's a feminine author. Don't u think so?

Anonymous said...

is he? emotions held by females are similar to those of men ..they are just more intense and powerful and even more passionate..that way the males can always benefit from the "feminine books" too..."the witch of portobello' by paulo coelho is also a gem of a book.

Ashesh Raghav said...

see ,its not that feminine emotions are similar to those of ours and moreover the book doesn't desl with the emotions. It's all about preaching , not to retrospect the past. that's it.
Anyway, thnx for suggesting "The witch of portobello".

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