Saturday, June 12, 2010

Love, Sex aur ab ye khap !!

Disclaimer: After umpteen requests to write something humorous I'm again with the same serious topic. I'm sorry. But i assure ,this is my last serious post in this vacation.

Aware! The next time you chat with an anonymous guy (or the gal as the case is) on Google talk, and he/she is in deep distress then there are more permutations favoring that he/she had been a victim of the Khaps. It may also be true that he/she is waiting for being sentenced to death. The next Kasab in waiting…

There is one more Kasab here, who is messaging me for the last couple of months. I really don’t know who he/she is? But the messages are too cute to delete. And yes the good night messages he/she sends are worth saving in that delicate case if you have a fiancée. But right now at this point you would ask “ what on the earth made you to save his/her name as Kasab ?” I would answer equally innocently “ It looks freaky when Kasab pops up on the cellphone screen every other hour !” :P

But I don’t wish this Kasab to be the one who wishes to marry a girl of his own gotra. This Kasab is my friend for sure. It is just, that I mistakenly erased him/her from my contact.

My dear Kasab,

You are my true friend and I don’t wish to lose you anyhow. If mistakenly you are in love with a girl who is of your own gotra and you are planning to marry her then please for my sake rethink. There are far more trained terrorists than you to sue you. Indolent British formed a local judicial body khap just to ease the burden of the supreme court and now they are no less than your Al - *&^%. Dare to legalize a death sentence for marrying a girl, not of your choice. Does any INDIAN MUJAHIDDIN have this courage ? My dear friend, ask your fiancée to search for another guy. Sex ratio says there are already 72 unmarried grooms on every 1000. I’m sure she will get one. I don’t want to risk your life. There is Navin Jindal there to safeguard the khaps. And you won’t be able to escape from the claws of this emerging terrorist – Mr. Navin Jindal. Who says terrorists are well framed and they conspire very minutely. This New terrorist has forgotten that he once fought for the rights of the people to hoist the National flag and now he endorses this bloody khap.

My dear friend, in your religion it may be a tradition to marry any girl who is not breast-fed by your mother but these khaps won’t listen and they firmly announce a serious health risk to the kids of the couples of the same gotra. Oh, I forgot. Do you know what your gotra is ? I won’t be baffled if you say “NO”. Neither will it cause any despair to me if you admit that you don’t even know “What Gotra is”. Believe me I too Google searched it a lot before initiating this post. I didn’t find any firm information on this so as to share it here but yes when I searched “khap” on Google, then I got something to show you.

( if you can't view this image, click on the image)

Dear friend, if you bet that you have a very good maths, then it’s of no use. Khaps claim that there are genetic similarities between you and your same gotra fiancée and so your kids may suffer health risk. I can’t help you getting them understand what % of DNA are actually inherited after tens of generations. These khaps don’t even bother. They have decided to hang if anybody is found marrying a same gotra person. Kasab, I’m afraid. I won’t be receiving such romantic messages then.

Friend, do one thing, give these khaps few more Navin Jindal(s) and within no time honor killing will be legalized under some article of the constitution. How will it be then , that every murderer (if the murdered one is a girl) will claim that his honor was on stake so he murdered. It won’t take long to relate any person as some sort of chacha, mausa or mama in our family system.

My dear friend, so if you still plan to marry that girl of your own gotra. I’m sure you won’t live for long. And then I may not miss you but I will miss your messages for sure. So, Please for my sake and for the sake of those messages, don't sacrifice yourself and your fiancee. I would have helped you find another girl if you knew your gotra. I too do not know my gotra but for my case ; believe me, I am searching for an alien girl to marry just for being on the safer side. You need not wonder if I take you in a UFO for my baarat. And yes, I will take these khaps too with me. So do you !


P.S: My dear friend I've again received a good night message. I'm sorry but i can't figure you out. I'm sure you aren't Kasab. But please reveal this mystery.


babu said...

Another nice blog frm u yaar!!!
U r not leaving anything to's hard to comment in this blog...
But I would take the opportunity to add smthng frm my side-
Gotra- It is a very crucial term while we discuss abt marriage. It tells abt ur origin( the place and the persons frm where it begun)

For eg- GANG+GOTRI( origin of ganga ...somewhere in himalayas)

So if two persons are of same gotra then it is considered that they are somehow relatives and their origin is same which infers that frm the start of their gotra there is very less difference in the DNA values...means the two are genetically identical.. which is unfavourable case when we talk abt Rhesis factor...and the coming child suffers prob.

So better our parents decide where we should get married because our indian methedology is smart enough to tell whether a marriage will be successful or not......

Hope u will not fall in love blindly with SHE......
Rest is on our fate.....

Nikhil' said...

yar ye jo gotra ka funda hai ki jab aap same gotra se hote hai thn ur supposed to be brother and sister as it is considered in our vedas that we all the people are son of some rishis just like kashyap,vats etc and this family is now extended so we all are same family...
but yar ye sab aisi rites and rituals aab to rudhiwadi ban gayi hai kyunki agar sochon to kaha jata hai ki suruat to kisi 2 se hi hui hogi is dharti ki either they are adam and eve or any one relating any ones religion so hum sab bhai bahan hi hai then ur right that we hav to wait and pray for our marraige until and unless any allien come on the earth....

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