S-word and the non-engineering girls !

[Disclaimer: This work is completely fiction yet the author doesn't deny its resemblance to any real incident.]

“Hey dear, U still awake. Txt me few Girlie vulgar msgs within d limit of decency.”

Hell, I was astonished not because the message came at 0245 hours but was amused to guess, how can a message be vulgar and at the same time decent. An engineering student’s cell-phone usually hosts only two kinds of messages, first is the hell stock of decent messages (read: romantic) sent by his girlfriend or the other one is equally hellish stock of vulgar( read: non-veg) messages sent by his male friends consumed in other 2299 engineering colleges. A few pedantic friends do send messages to enquire about class timings and assignments but I don’t think they are saved by any of the dumb-academia like me unless the cell-phone hosts a 32 GB memory card.

The problem began here. To find a message with vulgarity and decency both was tougher than watching ‘Twilight.’ I scanned my inbox a multiple times. After every round I eliminated a few messages which didn’t comply with the criteria set by me for being decent. I considered all those messages which had objectionable F-words or were having those restricted biological terms which even our bio teachers refrained to utter, as vulgar. And yes, those Naughty-America inspired messages were nowhere in the queue. Rather, they should be in porn category with restriction for people below 18 to read.

Any way my initial few rounds yielded a few results.

Consider,

‘Height of pressure in corporate, An employee for the company goes to toilet and sits on the seat. Front wall reads, “Had u given so much pressure on sales, company wud’ve achieved it’s target”.’

Umm no, this message can count for being in the limit of decency but is nowhere vulgar. And after all, if you are to send this to a girl, you have to be a pinch more conscious. So, I went for some more trials.

Successive rounds brought some more,

“Why are boys so careless and irresponsible ?? Coz they know that somewhere some sweet and innocent girl is learning to be responsible for him.”

Way too romantic !! Nowhere vulgar. According to her demand, it should be vulgar as well. My frustration rose exponentially. And being an engineering student, I couldn’t ignore a girl so easily. DAMN ! ! ! So I went for two-three more trials. Many messages plummeted on the cell screen but none exactly fit into her criteria of ‘vulgar as well as decent’.

"A guy wid green, red n blue colord hair said 2 an old man staring at him, wats up oldie ? never did anythng wild ? Oldie: Yup, fucked a peacock once, and wondering if u r my son ! !"

Damn !! I can’t send this F-word message counting in a limit of decency that too when the word is not used as a simile. It is used to make its actual meaning. Hell. I’m sorry. I scanned my cell once again for the last time. And after that I would have ignored her. And yes remember, If it comes to an extent that an engineering student is ignoring a girl can be a consequence of only two possible cases. Either the girl is way too boring or the guy is drunk. And I don’t drink and neither I wanted to place this girl in ‘way too boring’ sect. So, I finally sent her a message without this time really concerning if the message really complies with her criteria.

“2 sperms chatting on mobile, 1st: I’m sumwhere b/w fallopian tube n uterus, r u nearby ? 2nd : No no I’m on a different route, just crossing oesophagus !! :P :P.”

Within a second her reply popped up,

“U r too saintly of a person. Is dis msg girlie ? Send a msg which shud b girlie as well”

I read the message umpteen number of times to check how come this message was not girlie. I didn’t find any reason. And when I reached the verge of my sore I replied her,

“Dad on call, watching Salt; will catch you later.”

And then I switched off my mobile and slept without giving any heed to the authenticity of my text, That why would Papa call at 0335 hrs ?

Crap… But am still wondering, how the hell that message is not girlie ? Whether that S-word or what ?? Does this S-word really have no relevance with the girls? I wonder…

" Do non-engineering girls too drink ? "